how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
This toilet bowl is my home.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
