wat bout pragnant strippers??
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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