big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
