its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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