You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
Randomize
