Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
