i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Randomize
