I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
