Who wears a wallet chain?!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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