1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
