Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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