she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
