It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
