What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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