He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
