Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
