If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
