someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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