So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
