i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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