Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
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