Whod you bang
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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