I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize
