The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I FOUND THE LEGS
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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