Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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