he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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