i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
