On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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