dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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