Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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