i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
