It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
