I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
