i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
