I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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