Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
