..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
