when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
How external is "for external use only"?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Randomize
