i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
