so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
