i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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