If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
