i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
