first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
