i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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