Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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