yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
