dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
You need Xanax blowdarts
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
