Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
