Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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