my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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