Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
