I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
Randomize
