Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
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